Saturday, February 2, 2008

SHOTGUN FILM REVIEW (µnh!)

it has been many a while...
there has been many a film...
quickly now, before it escapes...
quickly now, quickly now...

Gojira (Ishiro Honda, 1954) - dawn of time lizard Fs the S outta Tokyo, "I hope I didn't survive Nagasaki for nothing!"
RECOMMENDED

Tears of the Black Tiger (Wisit Sasanatieng, 2000) - boy's life ruined by bratty chick. leading lady is freakin' hot.
RECOMMENDED

Come and See (Elem Klimov, 1985) - ruskies run for their lives from the ss. insanely gripping.
RECOMMENDED

Da wu wei (i think that means "6am") (Adrian Kwan, 2004) - fucking terrible, whatever dialect is spoken in hong kong is the most grating thing i've ever heard in my life, only hot chick was a milf so that's pretty cool. makes no goddamn sense whatsoever.
NOT recommended

Severance (Christopher Smith, 2006) - arms mfr peeps hunted by ruskies. campy, enjoyable as the dickens.
RECOMMENDED

Ikiru (Akira Kurosawa, 1952) - pitiful city worker rocks the hood. highly emotional, came close to cracking several times myself.
RECOMMENDED

Tengo to jigoku (High and Low) (Akira Kurosawa, 1963) - limo driver's kid swipped, shoe ceo loses ass, sick man hunted. JDM TYTE detective thriller.
RECOMMENDED

Kumonosu jo (Throne of Blood) (Akira Kurosawa, 1957) - great general driven to unreasonable ends by selfish wife. think samurai macbeth.
RECOMMENDED

Yojimbo (Akira Kurosawa, 1961) - ronin plays gangs against one another. pretty much last man standing or any cowboy film (now you know where the plot vehicle got popular) but w/ swords and shit. kinda hardcore.
RECOMMENDED

Tsubaki Sanjuro (Akira Kurosawa, 1962) - ronin steels motely crew to win over unjust. waaay light hearted, sequel of sorts to yojimbo.
RECOMMENDED

I'll Sleep When I'm Dead (Mike Hodges, 2003) - retired strong arm returns. think cowboy bebop in england recently, killah jazz soundtrack, anticlimatic
RECOMMENDED

Rumble Fish (Francis Ford Coppola, 1983) - dipshit wants to lead a gang. hecka growing pains, missing of the train, etc. leading lady is uber hot which is rad, screwy experimental soundtrack.
RECOMMENDED

Eraserhead (David Lynch, 1977) - ... yeah don't look at me. awesome AV experience, attempt to interpret if you dare.
RECOMMENDED

Tetsuo (Tetsuo the Iron Man) (Shinya Tsukamoto, 1989) - d00ds totally turn into weirdo metal mutants. uh yeah... basically a japanese eraserhead, but makes a little bit more sense. fun experience.
RECOMMENDED

Once - just straight fucking blows, i don't know how it even got funded, i'm not dignifying it by writing a synopsis or listing director and year. If anyone asks you see this film w/ them punch them in the face and run.
NOT recommended

A Bridge Too Far (Richard Attenborough, 1977) - account of market garden. terrible, terrible film. failed to capture the absolute cluster fuck the operation was. however, for pushing 3h did not seem that long.
NOT recommended

It Happened One Night (Frank Capra, 1934) - spoiled runaway hooks up w/ sod reporter. Actually funny, actually romantic. odd how that works when your cast can act and your writers can write and all sexuality needs to be implied not just straight up boob shots and mad finger blastin'.
RECOMMENDED

The Apartment (Billy Wilder, 1960) - barely lovable loser climbs to the type via favors. kinda cute, kinda bland, a bit too long.
NOT recommended

The Lost Weekend (Billy Wilder, 1945) - sorry excuse of a man can't climb out of the bottle. think leaving las vegas, but actually good.
RECOMMENDED

Paths of Glory (Stanley Kubrick, 1957) - incompetent decision paid for w/ private lives. an incredibly short kubrick film. sweet war scene, nice sets, a bit of emotion.
RECOMMENDED

The Maltese Falcon (John Huston, 1941) - smart ass dick outwits treasure hunters. taught, fast paced, snappy dialog.
RECOMMENDED

The Thin Man (W.S. Van Dyke, 1934) - gin soaked PI finds the real crook. wildly charming.
RECOMMENDED

Notorious (Alfred Hitchcock, 1946) - Gman makes spy out of traitor's daughter. O-M-G, Ingrid Bergman is crazy gorgeous! Right amount of suspense and intrigue.
RECOMMENDED

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