omg occupy post box!

"Highlights of the new single-piece First-Class Mail pricing, effective Jan. 22, 2012, include:

• Letters (1 oz.) – 1-cent increase to 45 cents
• Letters additional ounces – unchanged at 20 cents
• Postcards – 3-cent increase to 32 cents
• Letters to Canada or Mexico (1 oz.) – 5-cent increase to 85 cents.
• Letters to other international destinations – 7-cent increase to $1.05"

http://about.usps.com/news/national-releases/2011/pr11_116.htm

BREAK YO SELF

another example of the spendocrats taking away our freedom

"highlights"

* Check-out limit: 50 items
* Interlibrary Loan fee: $5 for each item obtained
* Items designated for children 12 and under: Daily fines of 15 cents per item
* Bring borrowing limits and fees in line with other library systems

but seriously, who needs more than 50--or even 50 for that matter--things checked out at once.

Ron Paul 2012

The ever-present death knell of radio

Far from a new phenomenon (folks have been predicting the demise and subsequent resurrection of radio and DJs alike since before the advent of “telefilm” and car-based “records”), yet depressing nonetheless:

Recently I was in a meeting with Charles Bronfman, one of the wealthiest men in Canada and a great philanthropist. He was relating a story at one point about a teenager he met who said she didn’t understand the point of the radio. “Why would I want someone else to pick my playlist?” she asked Bronfman.

via Mental Floss

Reborn on the 4th of July: Oliver Stone can shove it.

I arrived home from biking with Kristina at around 4pm on Wednesday to find (in order of appearance) Steve, Michael, Noah, Angie, Adam and Gay-Mexican Andrew. Adam and Noah were well into thier respective malt liquor 6-packs... 16 ounce cans mind you. After saying hello and taking a shower, I then proceeded to ciesta w/ Kristina.

Upon waking, I discovered that Noah and Adam were well on thier way to awesomeness and were becoming increasingly abusive towards others. Noah to, of course, Angie, and Adam to G.M.A.. Steve fired up the grill and we all listened to music until the temperature was jussssssssssst right. Adam and Noah's abusiveness continued.

Food was cooked and eaten 1 hour before the time Riley was told to arrive. Fast forward to Riley's arrival...

...Riley arrives. With Sangria and bab ganouj.

Angie is now drunk and enters a pact with Adam and Michael to eat a McPherson's jalapeno. Hilarity ensues. There is about 15 minutes of footage of Adam crying and spitting in the sink, (probably the source of the blockage now that i think about it) on the same reel that captured him dancing and Noah fighting with Angie.

Adam then collapses on the deck as Angie does flying jumps into Steve's beanbag. That's what she said.

Need to restart... will continue later.

Ixnay on the Unatay

Why must Subway(tm) bookend their otherwise lovely workweek $3 specials with soggy meatballs and insipid tunafisk? Above shenanigans set me back an extra 200 Swedish fish for the privilege of eating something that doesn’t possess odors akin to the dysfunctional mini-fridge chock full of mold-ripened, rat-digested pork product left for two months to its own devices on a back patio of yore. Shit took three sets of rubber gloves and a quart of bleach to half-way disinfect.

Bosch : totally hooked it up

totally bought one got one free but prior to that...

some cracked out fake-and-bake peroxide blonde was tweakin' cause her 19xx XYZ had shit for breaks like the rotors wore thru. this caused a yelling match at the parts counter that neither her less cracked out girlfriend or early retirement major league boyfriend could calm. she insisted on slappin' on some pads, but not that shizzle is suicide. and " I NEED THAT CAR " ; borrowing wouldn't do, refused to have it towed, declined the house call mechanic (i can't have people at my house! this phrase always means "i'm cooking some serious shit and don't need folk knowing i make w/ the drugs even though you can totally tell by my behavior"). the tirade* never really ended, just went to the parking lot, into some poor bastards car and surely proceeded for another three hours. minimum.

cashier tried to charge me full price for amorall products despite my coupon. wasn't having that. he caved and admitted to charging people full price all day.

such is ballard

(outro, play notorious b.i.g.'s "everyday struggle" and sip some tanqueray)

*http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=tirade

not since i was thirteen

volvo, jeep, myself. all at teh local mart. grab some Colt 45s, grab some MD 20/20s, grab some candies. a fellow gentleman shopper approached us and specifically singled out jeep. why we all drinkin' MD? that tastes like kool-aid. volvo, jeep purchase. the gentleman purchases. all leave. i remain. my purchase begins. the gentleman returns. he notes that i too purchase the MD. he notes, and i quote (mostly kinda sorta, more like a quote w/ light paraphrasing) :
"i used to drink that shit when i was thirteen on mondays before school. once i got past thirty i said fuck that shit and now i only smoke weed."
he did, despite the light chastising (not seen such since when the older fellow called taurus and i pussy boys at teh smoke shop) wish me and mine a good evening. as i told him, it was just going to be that kind of night. and that kind of night it was.

In Volvo's Arms, Murder Waits!

I show up and LS400 is already there. Taurus shows later while I was getting huge. A sandwich containing avocado as an ingredient was consumed. We watched pretty animated boobies (DOA, you keep a juvenile part of me alive and I like it). The Volvo came home (it is after all his house and basement). We all observed that he was on edge and quite angry. He had spent cash money on a banjo to delude himself about his problems. While we three attempted to sooth our angry and gigantic friend (because we are after all nice people, very nice people indeed) Volvo espied a mouse. Being the fair weather friend of animals that he is the Volvo attempted relations. Mr. mouse did not wish to be Volvo's friend and scurried off which angered the giant. Volvo snatched the mouse from the ground and crushed it in his gargantuan palm exclaiming, "I hope I see its brains!" Once the poor bastard had the last breath squeezed from his miniature frame the Volvo realized his folly. We three then took him to Safeway in an effort to cheer him via the charm of comfort feeding. This, however, did not satisfy and Taco Bell was struck upon instead. Upon departing from the cozy lair that is Volvo's basement I checked for the mangled form of the mouse which Volvo had so callously dumped in some bushes. It was gone. Miracle of easter, neighbor cats, or return of the raccoons? You decide.

Firing on 7 synapses

Wanna be hippie neighbor w/ the van leaking gas has spent money to improve his ride, however, this money was not to fix the gas leak. No, no. That would be not only ecologically sound, but an exercise in good citizenship. Instead he has bought a diecast "gold" plated license plate holder w/ twin naked ladies. I cannot wait until the next time he parks that turd on level ground (that's when the leak is apparent) again. Totally calling the Fire Department.