Saturday, February 14, 2015

Bitter Moon
(Roman Polanski, 1992)

Boring English people meet obnoxious Franco-American couple; really interesting Indian character is woefully underplayed.

Let's cut the crap and get right down to it. This film sucks. It's one of them weird over the top "perverted" sex movies designed to shock. Sadly, nothing is terribly perverted or gasp worthy. We have Hollywood to thank for that. Having truly lived thru the era of release was fond of some of the trappings, but didn't find the jolts jolting. Though a decade its senior, Bitter Moon is akin to The Dreamers (Bernardo Bertolucci, 2003) w/ the snore inducing sex romp. However, what saved The Dreamers was excessive nudity. The term saved is used in the loosest sense.

'Aight, Bitter Moon. What you need to know! Poorly written, unnecessary scenes, excessively long scenes, excessively long runtime, wooden acting, amaterish line delivery, &c. Sitting there wondered to thineself, "why in the h-e-double hockey stick did I select this title again?" And so while the film whiled itself away ran to the interweb... right! Vangelis soundtrack. Sadly, even so this trait was not enough to grant a pass. Sample of sick ass V-dawg cut: Dorky saxophone licks.

And so if you're the type that finds 50 Shades of Grey scandalous and tittilating this one's for you! If you understand that there are positions beyond missionary and enjoy actually good movies this one is not for you!

Not Recommend.

All that aside, there were perhaps two interesting scenes towards the end which genuinely dripped contempt, likely even disdain. Though, it is acknowledged such is comparatively related to rest of film. Not Recommend stands.

wait it's set in korea, but about vietnam?

(Robert Altman, 1970)

Unrelentingly crude field surgeons romp 3 miles from the front.

Pleasingly well cast ( u E.Gould), oddly paced, sensation of deep background. To be sure based upon a text, as are most films, but modified to critique/discuss topics of the time. Or so scant research hath revealed. A spirited conversation w/ rrriles did ensue asking, "Have we, 'Murricah, proxy films re: Mid-East military excursions of the past 3-ish decades?" Converstaion courtesy Google Talk which Google is shutting down today, or soonish. Thank you Google for removing/changing yet another perfectly fine service and forcing yours truly into yet another overly heavy, unnecessarily option laced, pseudo-app. Jennywho. That is to say, are there films set in Vietnam, but about Desert Storm? Or really as stage for discussing . Oh, sorry, "policing action."

Right, so anyhow. At the core, M*A*S*H does indeed exude good filmness. However, best consumed by folks living thru the era, or those w/ better understanding of the social context. That said, as one might be interested, do look into such. A dated film at first blush, but truly a window into a day long gone by. Unlike say, Nighthawks.


Note: ❤ listed as HEAVY BLACK HEART. How accidentally topical. Is that serendipity? I'm not going to bother w/ looking the word up, so I'll never know. As you, dear reader, are more studious the truth shall be known.

Monday, January 23, 2012

omg occupy post box!

"Highlights of the new single-piece First-Class Mail pricing, effective Jan. 22, 2012, include:

  • Letters (1 oz.) – 1-cent increase to 45 cents
  • Letters additional ounces – unchanged at 20 cents
  • Postcards – 3-cent increase to 32 cents
  • Letters to Canada or Mexico (1 oz.) – 5-cent increase to 85 cents.
  • Letters to other international destinations – 7-cent increase to $1.05"

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Bro jus' can't do no wrong

(Miyazaki Hayao, 1988)

Giant cuddly bro and anatomically correct cat-pal help siblings strengthen their bond.

Perhaps the 4th or so Miyazaki film I've consumed and y'know what? None of them are bad. Bro's gotta pretty good good-streak. Anyhow, like so many excellent things made a hundred years ago glad this one was! While the charm, or whimsy if you will, of the animation and story can be struck anytime, it's the BA synth heavy tunes that are a product of the time of publication. Suppose not much to say that isn't already common-knowledge about Studio Ghibli stuff. More than excellent art and animation. Succinct and charming plot, dialog. However, while trying to find pictures of cat balls this lil gem turned up. Ah, the creativity of the knitting crowd!


Friday, January 20, 2012

You love that which you can lose, yourself, a woman, a country.

(Andrey Tarkovskiy, 1972)

First contact is with the physically manifested mind.

Holy cow, was like watching 5 movies! That were all incredibly slow and confusing, but still higher than the bar known as "good." Rather enjoyed the space station sets. Would like to know more about how such an authentic decayed and unmaintained look was achieved. Quite glad this was made way back when. Can only imagine the cluster-F CG would have made this. And to that end there is the post 2000 G.Clooney reissue so... But maybe this is a compare and contrast I'll not bother w/. The beauty herein is far too perfect to disrupt w/ lame sauce remakes.

Anyhow, this is an indescribably deep introspective psychological journey. One I was enthused to take, but really didn't fully comprehend what I was getting myself into. At times the introspection is so intense it hurts and you think that's the "aha!" and the credits will roll, but no. It goes on and on. The balance between painfully slow and gripping is awkward indeed. Yet despite all that--esp being confused by the drive thru Tokyo sequence--I heartily recommend to anyone looking for a more cerebral and off the beaten path viewing. Note, however, this may not score points w/ your new found movie buff friends. This shit is for the true hardcore film nerd. Not your name droppin', angst ridden couch potato(e).

Recommended, but brace yourself!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Cinema ended in 1991, nothing was left to be said

(Richard Linklater, 1991)

A menagerie of dorks, weirdos, losers, cheats, psychos, and assorted rabble.

Hands down of the greatest films on celluloid to-date. Wonderfully insightful and well woven peek into the life of all manner of strange birds; open type observed and seamlessly the next presented and allowed to describe itself. Many of these characters I met during the days at the junkyard and as such the shifty hot rodders hold a certain tender spot in my heart (ah yes, I know you well sneak parts-thru-the-fence guy and I have foiled you more than once). For those tangled up in this side of life it's an animated mug book. For those who wished they were cool, this will allow them to finally credibly make up stories about all those crazies they never really met.

Recommended, highly!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

You Shoulda Been There

Silent Movie
(Mel Brooks, 1976)

Madcap trio sets out to save the day using well-worn(out) charm of yesteryear.

Mel Brooks, Marty Feldman, and Dom DeLuise set out in a silent film about making a silent film. A novel romp parodying and borrowing charm from the early days of cinema with mixed results. There is a sense that this was better viewed when new, way back when, since there is an apparent leaning-on of contemporary personalities (one more educated on pop would know them and gain more enjoyment) and old-school folks by then standards (wager to say wholly unknown now). Gags run the gamut of didn't quite get it?, ho-hum, and downright hilarious. Would have been nice if there were fewer dead-audio spots and if the text screens were treated better; printer's decorations or some such. A film with Bernadette Peters will always earn extra brownie points from yours truly.

Maybe not the best for solo or non-sexually-charged paired viewing, but certainly a good one for group movie nights where banter is the focus and on-screen funnies bring extra levity.

Recommended, contextually!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Sometimes fiction is stranger than reality. Should reality be in caps?

Miracle at St. Anna
(Spike Lee, 2008)

Buffalo soliders surrounded by the Wehrmacht fight each other, locals, flashbacks.

It's sorta like Saving Private Ryan, Band of Brothers, and Buffalo Soliders, but isn't nearly as awesome as any of these. Not even close. In fact not even entirely sure what to say... Sure the combat was pretty decent, tho not as amazing as the three (3) aforementioned films, dialog unintentionally hilarious, and surprise boob shots on two occasions; and yet none of the pieces really came together? What happened here? Well, for starters everyone was too clean for being out in the field. The story far too fantastic; making a film around fact would have really helped here. Wildly unnecessary closeups, establishing shots, intro & outro sequencing, go-nowhere character building, confusing and contradicting messages (within one scene no less!)... The list does go on, but I'd rather get to my fish and make some cookie dough. The film was freakin' 160min! If you're gonna make a film marathon long it's gotta be at least as good as Das Boot and this ain't! You know what. Enough. Time to end this. Tho it is worthy to mention that R.Ebert said "one of the best battle scenes I can remember, on par with Saving Private Ryan." (not even close. not even. jus' sayin' only bein' real) Jus' a lil note to all y'all kiddies out there. Maybe not the most credible source for movie reviews any more. All in all, a fine example of the trouble I get myself into by not reading up on a film before grabbing it/watching any title I hear of.


79min Short

Before I Self Destruct
(50 Cent, 2009)

Former baller struggles to support genius little brother.

If I followed the credits correctly, written, directed, produced, music by Curtis Jackson. So that makes it pretty much awesome. Oh, and the fact it's on disc 2 of the album by the same title equals extra cookies. Action sequences were awesome, fast, brutal. Real life vomiting! Leadin' chick pretty hot. Love scene was interesting. Somehow they managed to show the entirety of the boobs, but never the nipple. The editor deserves a freakin' Oscar for that work since there is no way in hell the cherry on top should have not been visible w/ those angles. There's an interesting mix of "how it is" and fantasy in the film, er short, that adds a bit of whimsy. Such as the scene wherein Fiddy & his grocery store coworker are talkin' about a fly honey who comes into their humble house of employ compared to the wild over the top speech of the neighborhood king pin.

Overall, Hollywood would be wise to take some lessons from Mr. Jackson. 1) Guns 2) Blood 3) Broads 4) Keep it under 90min

If you're the kinda person to want to listen to 50 Cent albums beyond "Get Rich or Die Tryin'" then this film is for you!

Monday, October 19, 2009

YouTube Heroes #3

Brooklyn- and blood-based band The Gregory Brothers have been on an edutaining roll with "Auto-Tune the News," now in its ninth episode.

To my micro-nostalgic mind, though, the series reached its harmonically enhanced pinnacle way back in April of this year, with help from Katie Couric and some very, very thin ice: